Fertilization President

Out front sat the panel van, engine idling, on the side printed ‘U. S. Government Fertilization Patrol.’ Out popped an agent carrying a 9” x 12” manila envelope and a floral arrangement, including white gardenias and blue chrysanthemums.

Inside the envelope, a form letter thanking the recipient for the birth of a baby-boy and a check for five-thousand dollars signed the Fertilization President. Also, ‘tremendous’ goodies. Coupons.

Also, a custom car decal, “Remember to Vote 2028.”

The agent scurries back to the waiting van, hops in, and speeds away.

Your cell vibrates; the text message says gratuities appreciated. Click here.